Today we get the opportunity to celebrate fathers and the love they have shared, and work they’ve put into providing over the years. Honoring the legacies they have and are building. The day overflowing in gratitude and profile pictures of daughters dancing with their daddy’s on their wedding day.
There are so many wonderful men in this world, who have risen to the occasion of being a dad. I was blessed to have an uncle who loved me like a daughter and have paid witness to men in my life love their children beautifully.
But, like me, there are countless sons and daughters today that won’t call their dad. We didn’t purchase a card or creative gift and every post, instagram or blog update about Fathers Day slightly slams our hearts a bit. Please don’t misunderstand me, that is not bitterness speaking towards people who get to celebrate the gift they have. I am thankful for every person who can claim a father they adore. I approach this day in respect of those who have lost him too soon, and are working to honor the life he lived.
Today there are those of us who aren’t participants in the celebration. That instead of getting to honor the man in our life who has been a rock, we remember all of the ways he was, is or will be absent.
The son or daughter piece of your heart doesn’t know where you fit today and part of you gets a little quieter.
I wish there was a way to rewrite my father/daughter story, but my truth is the man who helped bring me into the world hasn’t been my rock.
It’s been nearly four years since I have had a real conversation with my father. Closing that door was one of the hardest, wisest and most profound decisions I have made. There are days where I miss the man that taught me there is adventure to be had, and birthdays should be celebrated for a month. [I took that to heart #sorrymom] The man who laughed easy, believed Disneyworld was full of wonder worthy of countless trips, and Christmas is made of real magic. I’ve come to understand it’s ok to remember and celebrate the good parts you love about someone, without letting the more overpowering darkness in them be part of your life.
In the absence of that grounding force, I like so many others have searched for my foundation. When you come to understand the most organic one isn’t possible, you set off on a journey, that in my case has expanded my heart and granted me the ability to revel in true fatherhood when seen.
Through the most extraordinary of gifts, my Jesus has sprinkled fathers along my journey. In my uncle, who taught me more than words, in mentors, friends and friends parents — men who have shared through the story of their life what it means to portray character, integrity and love. Quietly and honorably displaying what fatherhood represents and is capable of.
Today, I celebrate those of you who have risen to the occasion of fatherhood. Love them so well today.
Today, I remember with those of you who have had to say goodbye to soon. You get to carry his light.
Today, I see those of you who are a little quieter than normal. Reminding you that we are so loved and that the choices of our fathers don’t have to author the story of our lives. That it’s more full of goodness than you can imagine and to always leave a space for restoration and grace.
[This short film by Rob Bell from years ago, always reminds me of the love God has for us] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koutUz0Im48]
**Photo by Taylor Adam Swift Photography