I start new years with a word, a theme vs. resolutions. 2014 was Courage. Oh — what a journey of trust and deep breaths it’s been.
When this year started there was so much unknown laying out ahead of me. The untapped reality of a new city, community and working to bring the vision of KAIO to life. The first few days upon arriving in Nashville, I was overwhelmed with the most intense fear I have ever known. Debilitating, heart breaking fear. That I had made a massive mistake and wasn’t sure how to extract myself from it. On my second morning, as I put makeup on through tears streaming down my face, I told God he had to show up today. That he had (yes I was demanding) to make it known that I was supposed to be in this city.
My courage had packed my bags, gotten me on the plane, off the plane and then faltered as the reality sunk in.
I believe the most powerful thing I will take away from this past year is that when you say YES, when you have courage and trust in something greater than you, it frees both you and God to work on your behalf. When you step outside of your comfortable spaces and into the unknown, or let’s be honest, ultimately getting out of your own way. Things you never dreamed of start to meet you. They find you in all of the unexpected ways and remind you that you’re story is part of a Great Story. You playing your part, completely and fully present is vital to the all of the other pieces fitting together. As you say yes, I have found, it gives others the courage to also say yes to their life. Because it was other people’s Yes’s that gave me courage — and I am sure have you as well.
There is no secret to discovering your purpose, it’s about being willing to get deeply uncomfortable. To trust in yourself, your tribe and God, enough to take another step into the unknown. Then another, and another and another. So that you’re so far down this uncharted road that you no longer even think of turning back to what you once knew. Although the idea of resting a bit, taking a respite often comes. But, still, you keep moving.
When you are bold enough to start looking for all of the ways you’ve been designed to impact the story, the work designed just for you begins to reveal itself.
I’ve learned through a lot of kicking + screaming, that you must, in order to keep moving, lean into a level of trust that doesn’t come naturally. To step outside of yourself far enough to catch a glimpse of the capacity for your life.
Untangling your worth from everything you’ve believed til this moment that has stilled you. Every disappointment, heart break, failure or pieces of your heart you’ve tucked away. It has be to let go. Dearest, let it go.
Then — you can stand tall, arms open, face turned towards the light and breath deep. Repeating the YES, and the I Trust You so many times it might as well be tattooed across your chest.
It’s in the mess and unknown, beautiful and gracious day to day that I believe we start to meet our purpose. It’s a day by day encounter and being willing to throw everything you’ve thought worked — out the window. To be bent lower in humility and grace so that the divine might meet you there.
There are days where I wake and I am stilled by the vastness of all that I cannot see. But once that fog lifts the extraordinary hope for all that can come to pass through trusting in a dream bigger than my capacity, fills every hollow corner that’s doubtful. It’s in that hope that I pray we both reside. Hope of dreams already realized and the ones that haven’t even taken form yet.
May we reside in that hope when we’re tired, ecpscially when we’re weary.
Starting the day with good coffee and finishing with even better wine, I have found is a serious support system.
This year has been about taking deep breaths, and having 20 seconds of courage over and over.
As I worked at calling forth bravery within myself, I met the courageous over cups of coffee + tears, in unexpected friendships that have changed my life, and in moments that can only be described as divine. I pray my whole life is having the chance to meet you over coffee and tears.
2014 was a call for Courage. 2015 is the year of pursuing Freedom. I can’t wait.
May we adventure with a steady heart.